(no subject)

So lets see when last we checked our intrepid Katester was mourning the loss of her mother which is not as sharp now but still present. In interesting developments, spending 6 weeks or so being unable to tolerate most food with the reliable exception of milk and applesauce has taken an interesting toll on my girlish figure - I now am skinner than I was when I met Eric, got married and/or gave birth to my daughter. It feels odd. I don't recommend illness as weight loss...and neither does my doctor. Monday I must, therefore, venture to the hospital to get a test where they measure the internal pressure of my pulmonary artery by going into it with a probe. I have had 7 of these before 6 were uneventful but the last one ended me up in the ICU for a week so can't say I am thrilled but my odds seem good. My doctor is concerned that the medicine that infuses direstly into my heart via the pump is calcualted dosage based one weight and when the calculated it I weigh 45 pounds more than I do now.

My scariest life lesson of the moment though is Colleen, she has never been what we would call robustly healthy and as a parent you start to not take "I don't feel good " with a grain of pinch of salt. Turns out this time she was right, Friday afternoon we discovered that she has psuedotumor cerebri, which is a fancy name for high pressure in her brain and spinal fluid. They know it isn't a tumor because they did an MRI so at least that one isn't playing in my head. I feel like a crappy parent and even worse we have to schedule my needle phobic child for a lumbar puncture. I just want to wrap my arms around her and make her better but I am sure that the fine fine doctors at the U of MN Children's Hospital can do a better job of treating this than I. I wonder if they can sedate me during the procedure as well as her. :)