I has too many feels

I realize that blogging is supposed to be a way to look at my feels. There are too many. My mom died. I have been sick since Thanksgiving and finally am starting to feel human again but now it is Hoth outside my door and I am talking Hoth AFTER dark - the hide in the animals belly Hoth! My dad doesn't think I should travel to my mom's memorial service....sigh closure is a foreign language to him. I know he loves me in his way but Mom was always the person who made me feel like I was part of a family. I have this extra kid, who I love but they have issues, many issues and I want to help but I feel overwhelmed lately. Among other things they believe that they are transgendered, I respect that and I wholeheartedly support the need to be who one really is inside. The pronouns are hard but I try - they wish to be referred to by one rather than either he or she. I like that but grammatically it makes for convoluted sentence structure.

There is more.....I have been so sick that I cannot eat most things. I am within 12 pounds of my weight from 1985. I am comparatively tiny to where I was. It is strange to me...like I was on the way to the hospital 2 weeks ago and I spent the drive being marvelously obsessed with the fact that I can have the armrest on the vans captain chair down and not only have it down but have it not hurt AND use it as an armrest. My winter coat now not only zips up all the way but hangs to my thighs (it is a bomber jacket style) I look lost in it says my husband. The funny thing is that weight loss isn't really a goal for me anymore, it is all I can do to manage staying on top of all the drugs and things for my disease.